too much pepper on my paprikash

"Repeat after me, 'pepper'."
"Pepper."
"Pepper."
"Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash...but I would like to partake of your pecan pie."
"Peeeecaaaaaaaaan piiiiiiie."
- Quite possibly my favorite movie lines of all time. When Harry Met Sally

My fingernails are a light shade of purple, half because I just filled out an entire Blue Book for my Music in Medieval Monasteries and Convents final, and half because of the hyperactive air-conditioning in Hill Hall. This should not be happening. Why did the rain gods decide to pour down cold and heavy on the ONE day I chose to wear cardboard thin flip-flips, didn't check my Yahoo Weather Widget, haven't showered, and haven't eaten? This should not be happening. I distinctly remember thinking that my widget promised me in-your-face sunshine and wispy cirrus clouds. (Well, maybe that was just something I conjured up in my head, but I so hoped it to be true.) In other news, I failed my Organic II final today (seriously) - a straight up 60. That definitely should NOT have happened. Whoops. I know, you're probably omg-wtf-jaw to the ground-"your life is over" and that whole deal - but, it's okay, shake it off. I didn't study nearly as much as I should have, and instead of staying in last night, I was out enjoying yummy tilapia wrapped in filo-dough, a peach nectar, and baked rice pudding with Victoria yesterday at Talulla's. Yes, I had a mini-freak out session in the UL this morning, cussing left and right on G-mail chat thinking of all the woulda's, shoulda's coulda's, why didn't you's... but even with the exam grade, I still have an A- in the class. Life is better again.

As I'm writing this, I'm just as soaked and sopping wet as I was when I walked into my Music professor's office two hours ago to take the final. I'm waiting for the shower, my never-failing safe haven. Momentary shivers are running up my spine, and I really think I'm twitching every so now and then on account of my lack of sleep, and irregular intake of caffeine in the form of a chocolate-covered bean and a bottle of Pepsi.

All this rain is making me want to plop down by a bay window somewhere and read for pure enjoyment. I haven't read a good book in I don't know how long. I just want to become absorbed in one of those books where every sentence is like a tiny morsel of semi-sweet chocolate that you have to run over your tongue twice before digesting. Secretly, I'm craving Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - mmmm.

My brain has imploded. Time to pass out, only to wake up in 2 hours to pull an all-nighter for my much dreaded Genetics final. Have mercy. Good night.

Perturbed/PertIRBed.

Good news came in the form of an e-mail I received at 9:25 AM. Looks like I don't need IRB approval after all for my work in Gulu. That's the last bit of stress off my shoulders. Found out I had to do the determination form on Wednesday, got Dean Bentley to sign it Thursday, turned it into the IRB office on Friday, and received notification on Monday. That's a pretty decent turn-around.

OH! There is another cause for celebration. Calvin has just confirmed that he's ALSO going to be in Uganda during the same time I will be. Granted, he'll be about a 12 hour drive away (in southeastern Uganda), but at least he'll be in the country. A weekend rendezvous is in the works - exciting! Can't wait to meet up with Evan in Kampala before I fly out, too.

Things to do this week:

• Read over TB information
• Get notebook/folder set up for interviews
• Study for Organic Final
• Study for Music Final
• Study for Genetics Final
• NeuroAIDS Powerpoint for PUBH 423 Apples Presentation
• Infectious Diseases/Global Health Networking night on Thursday w/ EWong
• Buy DEET/insect repellent
• GM Meeting - Tuesday @ 7:00PM
• Drop off leftover HIV/AIDS awareness literature, condoms, etc. at CFAR
  
• Get a Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory Cheesecake Apple w/ Alix
• Sushi Blues on Thursday night!
• Find a camera to use! Old faithful broke during the trip in Chicago.
  

BOGOF

It feels good to be home. Admittedly, my temper probably rises 14 or 15 degrees, but it's good to be home nonetheless. I know the timestamp on this post is going to expose my lameness - 11 something on a Saturday night, but that's ok. The 'rents just went upstairs to bed, and I shut the TV off, just leaving me on the couch with my mom's super tiny Dell and Benny at my feet with one leg raised, shamelessly begging to have his chest rubbed. Of course, I'll oblige. How can I resist?

Friday
Traditional Friday routine started off with Sugarland and a crossaint with Justina at the Rosemary bus stop before taking the G to Estes Elementary. Note to self: Must buy Hershey bar for Kiana. I didn't know she knew how to do carry-over addition! And fractions! I was definitely impressed. Art class flew by; I think it was the first time I used Elmer's liquid Schoolglue in about 12 years. And schools should really ban crayons - I'm in full support of a colored pencils tyranny.

I FINALLY got to go visit Alix's home in High Point before heading home (we seriously need to have a Spring gala/wedding in your backyard, sans pollen), and it was nice to just sit and play some piano with the soon-to-be maestro (right, right?). The ride back to Charlotte with Greg was such a good time, accompanied by sunny Friday afternoon weather and effortless, hearty conversation, reminding me of why and how we clicked in the first place, over a year ago. He called me out for noticeably exuding a flirty confidence and for my unmistakeably happy disposition - but my short-lived embarassment soon broke out into smiles. I was on such a high from being with him, from hell week ending, and because I could finally wear that gorgeous, gray pleated skirt without worries of the cold.

Deliciousness ensued once we got to his place; he cooked 1.5 lbs of amazing steak (what a sweet deal! BOGOF -buy one get one free from the Teeter), and spinach. Of course, I argued that we should have doused the steak with Hoisin sauce, sugar, and an ungodly amount of butter - but his stern disapproval and good judgment won out in the end, and surely for the better. Not so glamorous was my side of mashed potatoes worthy of being served at Ramshead's Chophouse - I'm guessing the lack of a measuring cup really showed how terrible I am at estimating proportions. After dinner was Forgetting Sarah Marshall aka a healthy dose of male frontal nudity (thank you Jason Segel). Soon after, we were standing in the surprisingly long line at the Teeter's U-Scan, holding only one bag of frozen peaches as a result of Greg's midnight smoothie craving. Again, my peach smoothie was 3/4 love and 1/4 flavor - too much yogurt and not enough peaches.

Home today was mostly updating my parents on my summer plans, and shopping at REI for some quality travel gear and essentials.

It's bittersweet knowing that I have to go without seeing Greg for so long before we're living 10 minutes down the road from each other for the next two years. At least I'll have thoughts of San Diego to hold on to. :)

peace negotiations: void

Fear spreads amid Uganda's dispaced after peace deal misfire

I'm beginning to feel restless. And that's just because of the IRB sh*t and complications that have succeeded in driving me to a near-breakdown.

Yet what I feel is only one-millionth of the restlessness that has been felt all over Northern Uganda in the past week. I can only imagine the tension, fears, and suspicion circulating around Gulu town - I'm wondering if the situation will change when I step foot off the bus from Kampala, whether or not I'll be in the midst of this unrest. How much can change in two weeks? Only time can tell. Last Thursday, April 10th, Kony failed to appear and sign the final peace agreements that would wrap up the "Cessation of Hostilities" talks that started in August of 2006. A civil war that was hushed in the American public for so long, raged on for 20 years between Kony's Lord's Resistance Army and the Ugandan forces of President Yoweri Museveni. If you've seen Blood Diamond, you'll recognize the child soldiers and devastation that was brought into the homes and hearts of Northern Ugandans. Children were taken up and stowed away to the "bush", trained to hate, trained to fight, and forced to kill. Even today, they are still being retrieved, with efforts being made towards their rehabilitation with hopes of a successful transition and acclamation to society. Compounded with these child soldiers are the hundreds of thousands in IDP (Internally Displaced People) camps. Practically stacked one on top of the other, food is scarce, HIV/AIDS abounds, and there is no certainty in when these people can go back to their homes. In December 2003, Jan Egeland, the UN Secretary General for Human Affairs claimed the situation in Northern Uganda to be the "worst forgotten and neglected in the whole world". Some believe Kony will be a perpetual no-show. Yet what matters most is securing peace, after which justice shall follow, and then normality, as an afterthought. There is so much going on in the world within pockets of civilization that go unnoticed; the scope of World News is sadly limited, and even the statistics and figures read off the prompt screen coagulate to become a jumbled mess which fails to be processed by the masses, succeeding in watering down these enraging acts against human rights and social justice.

It will be interesting to see all of the NGO's that have flooded Gulu in recent years. I distinctly remember talking to Dr. Atim about Gulu during the GlobeMed benefit dinner in Evanston. When I told her I was going there, she gave a short chuckle accompanied by words that struck me as odd, "In Gulu, you won't even feel or realize you're in Africa. There are more whites and foreigners than Africans. You will see."

Conversation & nostalgia

So I have come to the conclusion that the most delicious things on earth are ranch-flavored corn nuts. We were cordially introduced through Alix, who brought them into my life on Sunday night. Mmm, they are so good. Not exactly healthy for you, but so tasty. I feel an addiction coming on.

Last Thursday, we shot our first interview with Quinton for the Center for AIDS Research documentary. Even though I was a bit nervous at first about my ability in steering the dialogue in the direction I wanted it to go, the interview rapidly fell into a back and forth conversation, smooth and relaxed. It's so crazy how much the mic picks up though; my jade bracelet kissing the table, the wrinkle of my pants shifting as I adjusted position in my seat, the light scratching of the ballpoint pen on my notepad, the swift shutting of a door in a room across the hallway, and even the background hum of the air conditioner up above. Obviously, this is going to be a problem. Tomorrow, we'll run-through the film for a surface edit, and then run around campus to scout a room suitable enough for future interviews.

Outside of GlobeMed activities (Public Health Awareness Week + Benefit Dinner), meetings, and the CFAR doc, I've had a fair amount of free time to devote to good conversation. The cushion on my futon is sunken in, and it's times like these that I'm thankful I bought it. It reminds me of times at NCSSM when the 1E girls and I would sit up late at night on my old futon by the one lamp that threw a pink glow on our faces and our huddled shadows across the walls. Man, Leigh Ann and I used to go delirious with lack of sleep, and disregard the bags under our eyes and the unfinished homework to just resolve the thoughts that rested heavy on our minds. Of course, Watt's Lawn is missed too. This army blanket wrapped around me now used to be the only thing separating me from the grass outside of Reynolds. But I guess I can't always live in nostalgia...



Summary of the weekend (of course, dictated by food): Bali Hai, cup of Chai enjoyed at my favorite bench at Francesca's, Sugarland for some gelato, Franklin St. people watching, Milltown brunch: Grilled chicken with pear, scallions, and gruyere on sourdough bread, errands, Barnes and Noble lounging, Smart People movie accompanied by a coke&cherry Icee, midnight bowling (Greg beasted me in the 2nd round!), and some lighthearted basketball on Morrison court on Sunday afternoon.

"strip down for solidarity"

Summary of the weekend: Exhaustion. Prepare yourselves.

9:30AM flight on Thursday to Chicago O'Hare.
Somehow, I lucked out and was assigned seat 12D, smackdab in the middle. One 60 year old woman on my right, and a 60 year old man on my left. I was reading an article Paul Farmer had written in prep for the summit while we were taxiing around. Enter Jon Welsh, proud Irish Catholic with a charming accent and cheery smile - he asked me about Farmer and we got to talking about global health and HIV/AIDS. Somehow, the bushy-haired woman next to me got involved via Iowa connections to Mr. Welsh, and there we were, having a full-out discussion on life, healthcare, The Fugitive, marriage, European history, relationships, religion, and the war from take-off to touchdown, over my cup of increasingly deflating Gingerale. I felt 2 lbs heavier with wisdom as I crossed over to Baggage Claim and waved goodbye to my flight confidants. Mr. Welsh's advice for making a relationship work? - 1. You have to be head over heels. 2. You have to work your ass off. Well, in my case - check, and, check.

Touchdown at Chicago O'Hare at 10:45AM CST.
2 Hour L-Train ride to Evanston. I met up with Sirisha near Northwestern, and we grabbed an Indian lunch buffet (mmm Tandoori Chicken + nan). We sat talking about the fellowship long after the food was pulled, and the servers had left after their own post-shift lunch break. Later that night, Ed Cardoza, VP of Development of Partners in Health opened the night with a speech on the summit's central theme of "Pragmatic Solidarity". All the while, his words were colored with encouragement to push for student's involvement. Yet at which point are you able to turn motivation into mobilization? Intentions, well-wishes, and brilliant ideas are stagnant and one-dimensional without pragmatic solutions and active engagement. I always wonder: Can students become the primary vehicles for pragmatic solidarity?

*Edit*

Friday, August 4th - Speakers, GlobeMed Development, and Dancing
Speakers from Opportunity International, Global Fund for Women, Concern America, and the Global Business Coalition (GlobeMed's heartthrob and local celebrity- dark, not so tall, and strikingly brilliant Neeraj Mistry). Roundtable on Developing Health Partnerships with Grassroots Organizations. Chapter Break-outs and Fundraising Chapter Challenge + a delicious glorified Bali Hai-like dinner. Closing speaker, Dr. Atim, from Uganda. Metro to Oglevie, Downtown Chicago. Festivities at Neal's amazing apartment (located right on Navy Pier, and across from Oprah's suspected penthouse) supplemented by choice iPod music. Dancing a.k.a 2 hours of cardio and perspiration at Hunt Club. Hit the bed at 4:00 AM.

Saturday, August 5th - Benefit Dinner and More Dancing
Four and a half hours of sleep. I shut my eyes Friday night, thinking I would be able to wake up to my 7:20AM Alarm. Wrong. I always seem to forget that I have an uncanny ability to shut off the alarm on my phone with a phantom arm. I woke up with a jolt at 8:41AM... we were supposed to be back in Evanston, in the lecture hall for Victor's presentation by 9:30AM. Evanston is a half hour train ride away. With complete disregard to hygiene, I pulled my hair up in a somewhat decent ponytail, pulled on a pencil skirt, and half-heartedly tucked in an oxford shirt that was covered with railroad tracks of criss-crossing creases. We rushed out to catch a cab, and I walked into the lecture hall with a bagel and banana in hand at 9:37 AM. Next: Development/Fundraising, Social Entrepreneurship, and Health Partnerships Workshop. UCLA had the great idea of taking advantage of their famed "Undie Run" for a fund-raiser. "Strip down for Solidarity", who doesn't love it? Afterwards, we went back to the hotel to change for the Benefit Dinner, and I met with Sirisha at 5:00 down in the lobby to have one last heart-to-heart about Uganda. I sat at a table with Sirisha, and Dr. Atim at the Benefit Dinner. My table was right up front, and the back of my chair was immediately in front of the speaker's podium. Throughout the keynote speeches, I let my starvation override any bashfulness and good manners - unfortunately, the not-so-discreet sound of my knife scratching the ceramic plate while tearing apart my chicken cordon bleu did not go unnoticed.

Later that night, I went to an Irish Pub, "The Celtic Knot", with about 15 GlobeMedians from UCLA, Truman State, and Northwestern, and then went over to Koi with Truman's GlobeMed President to meet up with the rest of the group for some dancing and farewell bonding. Coincidentally, the National Taiwanese Conference was being held at Northwestern that same weekend, and I soon realized after walking into the front door of Koi, that I had just stumbled upon their jam-packed after party.

At about 2:30AM, I caught a cab to Chicago to meet up with the UNC girls at Hunt Club. My driver, Amil, and I had such an interesting conversation. I guessed right, he was Gujarati. I asked what he wished most for his two kids, and he said "Prosperity". I asked what he wished they would be, and he said "One will be a doctor. The other will be a lawyer". So often, first generation Asian immigrants (including my parents) equate prosperity and power to these two professions. Sometimes I wonder if this 'best-intentions' hope carries residual restrictions in a kid's interests and development; medical school and law school aren't always a straight shot, or necessarily fulfilling. We got onto the topic of Bollywood, and discussed movies like Veer Zaara and Kal Ho Naa Ho (mostly about how I cried for hours on end during each one). For the record, Amil thinks Aishwarya Rai, the "Most Beautiful Woman in the Universe" is "Not that special". (:

Sunday, 3:00AM - Non-stop
Amil dropped me off at Hunt Club. Our group didn't leave until 5:00AM, and from there, it was straight to the apartment to pick up our luggage, and then to the airport where we were supposed to board our flight back to RDU at 6:40AM. In contrast to my flight from the RDU to Chicago O'Hare, I lost consciousness as soon as I hit my seat, with no memory of conversation or even free Gingerale. I hadn't slept since Friday night.

I collapsed on my bed right when I got back to my dorm room around 10AM, and didn't wake up until 8PM when I had my first meeting with Paul about the Center for AIDS Research Documentary. From there, I churned out an organic lab write-up, PUBH 420 paper on HIV/TB, and a Music paper and presentation on the Medieval Spanish Convent, Las Huelgas.

This week, I'm going to need sleep. And lots of it.

GlobeMed. Let's be the Change.

TB or not TB

Overhead lights are off, the Japanese lantern is on, and my "Reminisce" iTunes playlist is on in the background in an effort to lull a restless roommate to sleep. I recently purchased "Living with Bad Surroundings: War, History, and Everyday Moments in Northern Uganda" while browsing through the African Studies section in the Student Book Store. I feel like I'm in a Gulu frenzy, trying to find out everything and anything about the Acholi history and people.

Here's something I found while browsing for some African poetry that is fitting for my trip this summer:

White theatres
overflow with the drama:
TO BE OR NOT TO BE.

Black townships
are drained by the drama:
TB OR NOT TB.

- Sandile Dikeni

Oh, and marinate on this for a bit: In Uganda, the physician to patient/population ratio is 1:13,000 (taken from WHO 2004 statistics). Just to give you something to compare that number to - according to Wikipedia (if you trust it), there are just a little over 13,000 undergraduate students enrolled here at UNC-Chapel Hill. Unbelievable.